How to Behave at the Movies

Some people at the movies are just the rudest human beings ever in the existence of this stupid race. Yelling, laughing, talking, bumping, using cell phones, where you sit; it's all a part of it. Whether it's the type of person that laughs at inappropriate times, or it's that one person that makes too much commentary, or if a person has kids that just have never hear the words shut up, it's all annoying. Some people need to learn just how to act appropriately at a movie. Then there are others that just need to be banned altogether. Let me inform you group of idiots how to act at the movie.

First, everyone has a choice that can ultimately cause a problem right as you walk in, where you sit. Some people are so inconsiderate when it comes to this. Let’s use Bobby (made up person) as an example. Bobby gets to the movie extremely early in order to get a good seat. He and all of his 5’4” glory walks into the movie and sees that he is the first one there. He takes a seat in the top middle because that’s his favorite spot. Then a 6’3”, 280 pound guy walks in. He goes to the seat directly in front of Bobby and sits his fat booty down. How rude is this!? Out of the whole theater to sit in, he sits right in front of Bobby obscuring his view! For people like that hippo who’s so inconsiderate, take a look around you when you sit down. If you see that you are sitting in front of someone smaller than you and you have 300 other seats to sit in, be courteous and choose a different one.

Second, people who have kids that aren’t yet old enough to understand that yelling at a movie isn’t good, just don’t. You people are the reasons that people like me have anger problems. When the movie is getting good and your child decides to want to announce to the world and God that he just crapped in his pants, it makes me want to hit you with a truck. Please, just leave them home with a baby sitter and come watch the movie without the poop filled kid. That way others don’t get bothered and you get a short break away from the kids that you don’t know how to raise correctly.